Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Robots in Disguise. That’s the selling tagline for the Transformers toys, TV shows, and finally films that made one hell of a popular franchise. What isn’t cooler than a convoy of assorted automobiles splitting apart to become living A.I.? Since the day when Hollywood icon Steven Spielberg called up Michael Bay to make a movie the Transformers have seen a new generation of audience go “Wow!” After two successful films the third “Transformers: Dark of the Moon” raises the bar in terms of action and dazzling special effects, but is there a movie somewhere?

“Dark of the Moon” stars Shia LaBeouf (Disturbia, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull) as Sam Witwicky who is all grown up and, even though he’s saved the planet twice, can’t get a post-grad job! He’s got a new girlfriend (no more Megan Fox) in model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley making her acting premiere as Carly Spencer. The young lovers are a cute couple, but Carly has a dirtbag boss Dylan (Patrick Dempsey) who is keeping a big secret from the world. Meanwhile, Lt. Colonel Lennox (Josh Duhamel) has discovered a new Decepticon: Shockwave. The nasty drilling robot ushers in old secrets from the NASA Apollo missions of the 1960′s, culminating in a conspiracy theory about the 1969 moon landing. As explained by Secretary of Defense Charlotte Mearing (a commanding Frances McDormand), the entire Space Race of the 20th Century was an investigation to Transformers hiding below the surface of the Moon. Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen) is sent back to the Moon to uncover a comatose comrade Sentinel Prime (Leonard Nimoy) , who holds a dark secret to a lost weapon that could destroy the Earth if left in the wrong hands.

Director Bay is just about the most destructive filmmaker since Cecil B. DeMille. If something doesn’t have flames all around it, this movie simply destroys it! When the movie’s thin story is watered down to a simple plot-twist, all hell breaks loose and never recovers. We are treated to a complete bastardization of history, and it’s bad enough that the Lincoln Memorial is destroyed for Megatron’s personal throne. The jokes are awful, and Ken Jeong’s appearance is unnecessary. Any 9/11 survivors will not enjoy buildings smashed apart and people falling to their deaths. But hey, that’s Michael Bay for you.

Now with some glaring faults, the real reason we want to see this is the eye-candy. For that, you can get robots in bulk. This is a gorgeous production with amazing battles, definitely the most visually awesome of all Bay’s films. Perhaps the 2nd best asset would be the maturation of Sam, who was twitchy and neurotic before, now is tougher and more capable. Even at a runtime of 155 minutes the film gets somewhat better as it grows darker. The humans have more responsibility and matter a little more. As a bonus, cinephiles will enjoy McDormand , John Turturro, and John Malkovich as past actors with the Coen Brothers all in one movie.

While this is the final entry to the Transformers films, it ends on a high note. While it’s not Shakespeare, this is the best summer popcorn movie of the year.