Remember the end of “Thor”? Fury is checking out a blue glowing cube called a Tesseract with researcher Erik Selvig, played by Stellan Skarsgård (Melancholia, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo). Deep down in S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters, the device is a little jumpy and unstable. While investigating it, suddenly it jolts open a burst of energy and out pops the evil Loki, played by Tom Hiddleston (Midnight in Paris, War Horse). He’s on earth to stir up trouble with a big scepter, of which he uses to enslave the S.H.I.E.L.D. staff, including Clint “Hawkeye” Barton played by Jeremy Renner (The Hurt Locker, The Town). Loki trashes the headquarters and Fury just barely misses catching him. His response: to pull together a group of scientists to track the Tesseract and specialized soldiers to take down Loki. In short, he brings in the Avengers:

Iron Man – Robert Downey Jr. (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Tropic Thunder)

Captain America – Chris Evans (Fantastic Four, The Losers)

Hulk – Mark Ruffalo (Shutter Island, The Kids are Alright)

Thor – Chris Hemsworth (Star Trek, The Cabin in the Woods)

Black Widow – Scarlett Johansson (Lost in Translation, The Prestige)

Written and Directed by Joss Whedon (TV’s Firefly, Serenity); filmed in New Mexico, New York, and Cleveland; we have two and a half hours of bringing the last four years of superheroes together to a gigantic battle sequence. This is not just about one hero, it’s about six who all have to work together. At first they all hate one another, then as the situation gets worse it becomes apparent that they need one another to save the world. This brings a popcorn movie up to the level of real cinema, especially since four of the actors are Oscar-nominees.

This combination of strong characterization along with amazing visuals makes “The Avengers” in IMAX 3D a winner. Admittedly the story is lacking, about as thin as the paper it was printed on, but all the slam-bang action and perfectly timed comic relief makes for a great start to the summer blockbuster season.

The year be 1837, it be. A pirate captain, aptly named Pirate Captain, is voiced by English celebrity Hugh Grant (Four Weddings and a Funeral, About a Boy). Captain is a loveable guy, with a warm personality, good leadership skills, and one gorgeous beard. His ship mates are loyal and look up to him, a very friendly crew. Then again, perhaps not s successful one. See, Captain has never been a rich pirate, just a cool one. The problem is he wants the coveted ” Pirate of the Year” award and has his heart set on that trophy, but the trick to the award is stealing the most gold and loot from other ships and he’s had bad luck. Then one day he happens upon a ship by the name of The Beagle, operated by none other than Charles Darwin himself, voiced by David Tennant (TV’s Dr. Who, Fright Night). Charles recognizes Captain’s pet parrot Polly to be the last Dodo bird in the world! This gives Captain an idea to follow Charles to England where Queen Victoria herself, voiced by Imelda Staunton (Vera Drake, Harry Potter V-VIII), will likely present Charles with a cash prize for Polly, which he doesn’t care for the money and Captain can have. However, The Queen’s intention for Polly is an evil one, and it’s up to the Band of Misfits to save their prized Dodo.

Based on the books by Gideon Defoe, we are treated to 90 minutes of animated goofballs and silly characters with amazing action gags, especially on Queen Victoria’s own ship where foreign dignitaries are invited to eat…you’ll just have to see. There is rollicking fun for all ages, so yes bring your family and leave with a smile on your face. There are also many booty jokes, in every sense of the word. Now for Aardman enthusiasts this may not seem as clever as past efforts, but fans of “Chicken Run” or “Wallace and Gromit” will not be disappointed either. Also listen close for the voice of Salma Hayek.

“The Pirates! Band Of Misfits” is a big 3D comedy that will entertain young and old alike. Actually author Defoe has thus far written five books about the motley crew, and Sony is already talking about a sequel.

“Cabin…” stars five up and coming young people: Kristen Connolly (The Happening) plays Dana the shy one. Fran Kranz (TV’s Dollhouse, Much Ado About Nothing) is Marty a goofy pothead. Chris Hemsworth (Star Trek, Thor) is Curt the emasculating jock. Anna Hutchison (TV’s Power Rangers Jungle Fury, TV’s Spartacus) plays Jules the sexy one. Jesse Williams (TV’s Law and Order, Brooklyn’s Finest) plays Holden the genius of the bunch. Despite the varying differences, they are all friends and go out together in an RV to the woods to find Curt’s old cabin. Armed with beer, weed, and hormones the five young people only want to have a good time. Once arriving they begin to find strange items that are very old and bizarre, even grotesque. When Dana begins reading an old diary about a hillbilly family a hundred years ago, something in woods breaks out of the ground and begins walking toward them. The zombies systematically kill off all the young people except for Dana and Marty who just barely escapes, but he’s found something even more sinister: an elevator. This is where the real movie begins, as there is a frightening conspiracy hunting not just the students but people all over the world.

Written by Joss Whedon (Toy Story, Alien Resurrection) and Directed by Drew Goddard (TV’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Cloverfield), one can expect a lot of comic relief in this horror film, but in reality it’s more comedy than anything. Marty’s thermos can expand into a 4-foot long bong. A one-way mirror gives Dana and Holden a great show. As part of the game, Curt wants to keep the group together, but once chemicals are pumped into the room he suddenly changes his mind! The whole thing is rigged, and discovering the whole game is part of the fun. The monsters, all of them different, are pretty much every separate thing that gave you nightmares as a child. I won’t reveal how this comes around, that’s the fun of it all. My only concern that as clever as this movie is, the final minutes reveal another monster bent on world destruction. It just seems as a cheap cop-out to wrap up the movie. Sorry, but I have to take off a point.

“The Cabin in the Woods” is very fun, something to watch on Halloween with your buddies. It almost makes for an intelligent thriller too, but just falls short of being memorable.

One day at the Sisters of Mercy Orphanage, a car drives by and dumps a duffle bag on the front porch. A nun, played by Larry David (TV’s Seinfeld) in drag opens the bag to get immediately poked in the eyes by three babies! Guess who they are? As these babies grow up to age 10, Moe, Larry, and Curly are the only three boys who have trouble getting adopted. One day they almost get adopted by a loving couple but they only want Moe. He agrees on the sole condition that his brothers Larry and Curly can come too. That’s when Moe is immediately returned and they instead take Teddy, an adorable blonde boy. So the guys stay on for another 25 years never getting adopted, now grown up and caretakers to the Orphanage. They are lazy, inept, and idiotic in their attempt to fix the church bell, but that’s why we love them. However there is a serious problem: the taxes on the Orphanage total up to $830,000 due in 30 days, plus a little girl named Murph is seriously ill but they have no insurance to pay for medical expenses. That’s when our trio of dunces decide to leave the Orphanage for the first time in their lives, having no idea what the outside world is like. Along the way they run into Teddy again, get involved in an illegal scheme with a hot babe, wind up on TV’s “Jersey Shore”, and run into a slew of celebrities such as Dwight Howard, Isaiah Mustafa, Jennifer Hudson, Sofía Vergara, Jane Lynch, and many others in 92 minutes of crude but fun comedy.

First off, the original Stooges passed on in the mid-70′s, but Chris Diamantopoulos (TV’s Nip/Tuck, TV’s 24), Sean Hayes (TV’s Will & Grace, The Bucket List), and Will Sasso (TV’s The X-Files, TV’s MADtv) have brought the Vaudeville act to the 21st century and in large it works. Now, don’t think that this is a motion picture experience, it’s all farce and silliness, but this $30 million gamble is fun and genuinely funny. At the midnight premiere I even saw little kids with their parents, dating couples and really all types busting up laughing at the puns and slaps from beginning to end. Despite a production that went through many actors (Benico Del Toro and Jim Carrey at one point!), the Farrelly brothers have made perhaps the best Three Stooges movie that could ever been made. If the boys could see this today, they would be proud.

“Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!”

We open on the Queen, appropriately played by Oscar-winner Julia Roberts (Pretty Woman, Larry Crowne). This is the Queen’s story, she wants you to know that. Her real name is Clementianna, but we’ll just go with Queen. Anyway, she married the single-dad King who had a daughter: Snow White. One day King went into the distant forests on his own and never returned, leaving Queen to raise the young Snow. Ten years go by and the Queen is doing well for herself, in charge of an entire kingdom and her only perceived rival is the black-haired stepdaughter. While the Queen is condescending, disdainful, and just plain mean to her, the kitchen staff adore Snow White. However, they say that the people in town are in terrible shape due to taxes and poverty, to which she decides to take a trip out into the real world.

Meanwhile we have a young, handsome, even gorgeous Prince Andrew Alcott, but we’ll go with Prince. He is played by Armie Hammer (The Social Network, The Lone Ranger), wants to meet with the Queen in response to the country’s crippling financial difficulty. On the way, he is assaulted by seven men on stilts, who turn out to be little dwarf highway robbers. They attack him, string him up with his servant, and steal his possessions including his clothes. Snow White finds him, releases him from bondage, and he thanks her but must push on to the castle. Upon meeting the Queen with no shirt on (gasp!), and she being very attracted to his perfect beefcake, she invites him to stay for a while and secretly wants to seduce the young, rich, beautiful man. Along the way, all of these characters will meet again and come up with a plan to put the Queen in her place and save the kingdom.

Director Singh has made a wonderful movie here for girls. The old legend is given modern sarcasm and goofy jokes in a PG rated setting, though for any boys watching there is still the old swashbuckling rapiers to duel with. Add in a helping of magic monsters, a funny Nathan Lane (The Birdcage, The Producers) as a feeble personal assistant to the Queen, and seven endearing dwarves (played by real-life little people) who all fall for Snow White as much as we do. This all comes to be a very good looking girls’ sleepover movie.

“Mirror Mirror” isn’t really a great film, in fact it’s a little shallow, but there is entertainment to spare in this attractive popcorn movie. As a side note, Universal Studios is also making a Snow White adaptation with a much darker tone.

Enter 16 year old Katniss Everdeen, a very capable teen played by Oscar nominee Jennifer Lawrence (Winter’s Bone, X-Men: First Class). Living in a poor coal mining district, she lives in a poor shack with her nearly useless mother and younger sister Primrose. When Katniss is not helping with home chores, she goes out to the vast woods to shoot arrows at squirrels and birds for extra food. She also meets with a boy, Gale Hawthorne, played by Liam Hemsworth (Knowing, The Expendables 2). He wants to take her around the world with him, or at least out into the wilderness alone, but she sticks by her family too closely. None of this matters as she is soon called to the “Reaping”, the candidate selection. Every year the young people have to do this, and it’s Primrose’s first year. While this goes on, Katniss reassures her that she won’t get picked in the random lottery, but she does! Prim is not ready, frightened, but just before she is brought up front a miracle occurs: Katniss volunteers in Prims place. So, with her and the boy Peeta, a sensitive Josh Hutcherson (The Kids Are All Right, Journey 2: The Mysterious Island), they are shipped out to the Capitol via train, where they will shed off the rustic dirt of home and become thrust into lifestyles of the rich and shameless. Among them are their alcoholic advisor Haymitch, a great Woody Harrelson (No Country for Old Men, Zombieland) who was a past winner and is there to answer all their questions. There is also Stanley Tucci (The Lovely Bones, Jack the Giant Killer) as a television emcee Caesar, Elizabeth Banks (Surrogates, The Next Three Days) as Effie a sponsor who looks terrible in pink, and Lenny Kravitz (Zoolander, Precious) as Cinna a fashion stylist who encourages Katniss. Of course when all the preparations are made and the teens are wondering how long it will take for them to die, none of it matters because it’s time to play the game.

Director Gary Ross (Pleasantville, Seabiscuit) has a unique way of filming this: in only close-ups with a handheld camera (though maybe this was a Producers’ decision?). In this idea, when the weapons finally come out the visual images of seeing young boys and girls slicing each other’s throats open still keeps the PG-13 rating because we just don’t see all the violence, just enough to get the point. Of course that’s not the entire point of the movie, as Collins’s first half of the story is all about the anticipation of certain death. It’s not every day you are a teenager, full of hope and promise for the future, that you have to accept you won’t see tomorrow unless there is blood in your face. Regardless there are some moments of powerful humanity in all the chaos. You may also see this as a less-bloody “Battle Royale” or “Lord of the Flies”. On top of all this, Lawrence proves once again she can kick major ass, a true inspiration for women of all ages.

“The Hunger Games” works wonders with great characters, big visuals, and a battle that will expand your mind while keeping you entertained. “The World Will Be Watching”, you will too.

Morton (Hill) and Greg (Tatum) start out as high school students, but one is an awkward dork and the other a dumb jock. Neither of them are allowed to attend their high school prom, one because he can’t get a girl and the other because of poor grades. As they grow up to adulthood, they are very shocked that they are both in the same police academy, one is very smart, the other is very athletic. After a failed drug bust (on bicycles), they are reassigned to a special police program: 21 Jump Street. There, in an abandoned Korean church, they report to foul-mouthed Capt. Dickson, played by Ice Cube (Boyz n the Hood, Friday). He wants them to infiltrate a local high school to track down a drug ring the teens are running. This means the 25 year olds have to be young again, and once they arrive they are very out of place. Suddenly the cliques aren’t understood, gay jokes aren’t kosher, and the boys are accidentally placed into the wrong classes. Now Morton is cool and popular for the first time, while Greg is in with the geeks. Their personal lives are taking over the job, and the drug connections are more dangerous than they imagined.

Based on the popular TV series of the late 1980′s, we are taken from an after-school special to stoner comedy. In short, it doesn’t work. The guys are supposedly narcotics officers, yet they host a party serving alcohol and marijuana to teenagers (pot isn’t illegal, is it?). Chase sequences and action scenes are kinda funny but are more concerned with blowing s*** up and throwing in celebrity cameos (Johnny Depp shows up). Plus, this movie might set a record for the most “d***” jokes in cinema history. On the other hand it is fun to see Hill (an Oscar-nominee) and Tatum (a hunky heartthrob) playing total idiots for 110 minutes. Look closely for references to other movies with “Heavy Metal” and “Die Hard”.

“21 Jump Street” is not a good movie, but for those who watch movies to waste time with phallus humor this might have enough jokes to keep your short attention span.

We open in 1881 Virginia, where John Carter, a cocky Taylor Kitsch (Snakes on a Plane, X-Men Origins: Wolverine), has passed away. Not such a good start for our lead hero, but his entire estate and fortune has been bequeathed to his nephew Ned, played by Daryl Sabara (Spy Kids I-IV, Machete). His late uncle’s requests are bizarre and confusing, but in a private journal meant just for him, John begins to explain everything that has happened in the last thirteen years.

1868, Arizona. John is on the run from his Calvary unit, which wants him to help slaughter Apaches. He refuses, they imprison him, he escapes to the hills. There the Apaches catch up to him and the soldiers but he is able to hide in a cave, one in which the Indians are afraid to enter. There is good reason for this, when a bald man in strange clothing attacks him, but John shoots the stranger. Then he sees what was being protected: a ceiling of pure gold. There is also a strange carving on the rocks, and a unique medallion. The next thing John knows he is lying on his back out in the desert again, suddenly drained of energy and finding it difficult to move. Then as he picks himself up he discovers he can leap to incredible heights and lengths; almost a football field in a single jump. Soon however, a strange race of green men with four arms and tusks approaches him, one of which is very curious about the little jumpy white man. He is Tars Tarkas, a CGI creation voiced by Willem Dafoe (Platoon, Spider-Man). He will bring John into his culture as a pet, there being a language and race barrier, and soon John will be introduced into many more strange cultures and people before he finally realizes he is on the red planet Mars.

Director Andrew Stanton (Finding Nemo, WALL-E) makes his first live-action feature film with mixed results. To the average audience who does not read books or have an open mind, this will all feel like a second rate “Avatar” with many elements of “Star Wars”. Also, at two-and-a-half hours in runtime this sci-fi epic sure does take its time getting to the points. The green Martians are very interesting with their primitive, almost barbaric culture. Meanwhile, I haven’t even mentioned the Caucasian Martians, with a Princess played by Lynn Collins, Mark Strong as a mystic villain,  Dominic West as another villain, or Bryan Cranston as an army Colonel. The point is: as visually stunning as this movie is there is A LOT to take in. There are several plots and subplots which take the audience in five different directions at once. Many characters are clichés or just fodder. Collins’s wardrobe leaves little to the imagination, unless they wanted her to look like Princess Leia in a steel bikini. On the other hand the movie is one good looking show, creating big worlds and huge battles on land or large gliders. The special effects alone deserve something to enjoy and the action is very exciting. Kitsch is fun to watch not taking any crap from anybody.

If you think this review is long, just watch ” John Carter” and you can find a comparison. This movie isn’t that bad, it’s too much all at once. After losing millions of dollars in production, Disney might not make the sequel “The Gods of Mars”. Let’s hope they at least give it a chance.

Contrary to the book, we begin in the town of Thneed-Ville where we find teenager Ted, a CGI-animated Zac Efron (High School Musical, Me and Orson Welles). His daily endeavors aren’t much except for getting the attention of girl-next-door Audrey, played by Taylor Swift (TV’s CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, Valentine’s Day). One day she invites him to her backyard where she shows him her art project: trees. See, there are no real trees or grass or any vegetation in town, and this sight is something wondrous to Ted. Audrey wishes she could have a tree, even just one for her own. Ted begins asking around about it but the only person who knows about it is Grammy Norma, played with zest by Betty White (The Proposal, You Again). She tells him to go outside of town (something that no one is allowed to do) and talk to the “Once-ler”. He manages to take his motorbike outside the town walls and witnesses many shocking and harrowing sights, but he does find the Once-ler, voiced with equal parts grimness and humor (The Hangover, Cedar Rapids), who tells a much deeper story of how the world got this way, and it all ties in with a prophetic creature called the “Lorax”, marvelously played by Danny DeVito (One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Big Fish).

Right from the beginning of this loosely based reworking, we are treated to a multicolored world of crazy sights and sounds, including some musical numbers too. Disney is good at this, but Universal puts just one too many songs in to lengthen the 90 minute runtime. A few scenes are cute but serve no purpose, such as the marshmallow sequence or the nighttime bed ride through a river. However there are enough jokes from DeVito and Efron to keep the fun going. On the other hand, the serious message about cutting down trees and permanently scarring a landscape is as deep and profound as the original book. The image of dead tree stumps as tombs is a vivid message to the audience.

“The Lorax” casts DeVito spot on, and in IMAX TREE-D it leaps off the screen, but despite a happy ending maybe this is more for kids than parents.

The title is for how the movie is told, in chronological order through a series of camcorders. The first one belongs to Andrew, a morose Dane DeHaan (TV’s In Treatment, TV’s True Blood). Living in a small town outside of Seattle, WA, he has a poor home life with a dying mother and alcoholic father. He doesn’t have any real friends at school save for his cousin Matt, played by Alex Russell (Wasted on the Young). Matt feels bad about his cousin’s misfortunes, so he invites Andrew to a party with other high school kids. Of course the socially awkward boy brings his camcorder along, but meets someone else with a video camera: the very cute Casey played by Ashley Hinshaw (LOL: Laughing Out Loud, Cherry). Yet after a drunk guy yells at him and spits on his camera, Andrew runs off crying until he meets the school King Steve, played by Michael B. Jordan (Black and White, Red Tails). He and Matt have discovered something. It’s deep in the woods and can’t be explained: a hole in the ground that emits a loud sound. The teens think it’s so cool so they explore the hole, which opens to a cavern, which leads to a strange glowing rock formation. When they touch it their noses bleed, but the next day it is closed up. What happens over the next several weeks defies all explanation, all laws of physics, and all the limits of human achievement which are crushed with dangerous results.

Newcomer Director Josh Trank has given us something very big here: a teenage drama in the form of a science fiction thriller. Actually those of you who are into Anime might recognize several references to “Akira”; this is intentional. Now with all the superhero movies out there you’d think these kids would be fighting injustice and making the world a better place…wrong. They are greedy and show off all the time, pushing their limits of flying and crushing objects to the extreme with no concern for anyone else. That feels much more real to me. Also the whole thing follows the “found footage” genre but don’t worry, many of the various camcorders used are graceful and smooth, as a levitating camera would be. The climactic battle on top of the Seattle Space Needle is incredible and memorable. Young Dane DeHaan might be up for bigger Hollywood roles if he can reproduce the intensity of his character here.

“Chronicle” works because it wisely filters out many clichés and still manages to be a thrilling action movie. The characters are genuine and vulnerable, no matter how much “power” they think they have.

We open just outside of Tokyo out in the countryside where Shawn, voiced by David Henrie (TV’s Wizards of Waverly Place), is resting from an illness and also dealing with his parents’ separation. He’s staying in a country house with his Aunt Sophy voiced by Gracie Poletti (TV’s Serial Experiments: Lain) and the caretaker Haru, voiced by comic genius Carol Burnett (Annie, Horton Hears a Who!). The ladies want to make sure that he is calm and gets plenty of rest. Meanwhile, under the house a family of inch-high people have problems of their own. Young Arrietty, voiced by Bridgit Mendler (Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel, TV’s Wizards of Waverly Place), has her own coming-of-age story where she wants to fulfill her life’s work: to be a “Borrower”. Her mother Homily and father Pod are very supportive of her, but when they are voiced by Amy Poehler (Mean Girls, Baby Mama) and Will Arnett (Horton Hears a Who!, Despicable Me) her home life isn’t easy. One night on her inaugural trip into the big house with Pod, Arrietty manages to help her father quite well and learns many of the skills needed to survive in the kitchen, living room, bedroom, and tight crawl spaces in the walls. However, when the is about to take a single tissue from the bedroom, she catches the sight of Shawn! From here the movie focuses on the boy and girl and how both of their lives will be changed forever.

Director Hiromasa Yonebayashi makes his directorial debut here, but he also has worked for anime legend Hayao Miyazaki (Spirited Away , Ponyo) and it shows here. The countryside in the summer has seldom looked more beautiful and even the dark spaces and tiny house all have a life of their own. The original story has been given a slight adaptation but it keeps the same magic that Mary Norton’s book was able to capture. Arrietty and Shawn are able to help each other in many ways and it is refreshing to see such a strong female character. It’s also good to see the young actors giving solid voice over work, but Burnett shines as the scheming old caretaker who comes off as crazy when she tries to prove the Borrowers exist!

“The Secret World of Arrietty” has plenty of adventure and heart to be an instant classic. Children will enjoy it, adults will enjoy the innocence of youth and unbridled imagination.

The year is approximately 1910. In the Northern highlands of England young lawyer Arthur Kipps, a fully grown-up Daniel Radcliffe (December Boys, Harry Potter I-VIII), is still grieving from the death of his wife in childbirth and raising a four year old son. His firm is not happy with the work he has done, so they are sending him to Eel Marsh House (creepy name) and the surrounding small village. Upon arrival nearly all the villagers are hinting or flat out telling him to leave immediately, except the richest man in town. Sam Daily, a level-headed Ciarán Hinds (There Will Be Blood, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Parts 1-2,), has the only automobile in town and offers to help Arthur in his assignment. He explains his wife’s sister Jennet hanged herself in that house and ever since whenever she is seen a child in the village dies. As Arthur soon witnesses with his own eyes, the children don’t just die they commit suicide too, in some awful ways. It’s up to him to unravel the mystery and stop The Woman in Black.

Let’s get all the “Harry Potter” jokes out of the way; Daniel Radcliffe is 22 for Pete’s sake. As a fully grown adult he is able to carry this movie the whole way ranging from strong and brave to frightened and back again. He has very little dialogue in the house even when not pursued by freaky ghosts, but the story is easy enough to understand. Now that’s one thing I didn’t care for: how predictable the climax is which resembles “The Ring” in actions. Also the filmmakers made sure to keep the audience interested with no less than 5 fake-scares, just wait for the crow in the chimney. Still, the production is dark and atmospheric, moody and genuinely spooky with dolls moving on their own and a rocking chair that pounds the floor like a ton of bricks.

“The Woman in Black” works because of Radcliffe’s casting and also the creepy feeling that will carry long after the movie. Nightmares should be expected.

During afternoon tea, there’s a shift in the air.
A bone-trembling chill that tells you she’s there.
There are those who believe the whole town is cursed.
But the house in the marsh is by far the worst.
What she wants is unknown, but she always comes back.
The specter of darkness, the Woman in Black.

We open on Vienna where Carl Jung, played by the versatile actor Michael Fassbender (300, Prometheus), is a young doctor doing well for himself and his pregnant wife. His day consists of talking to socially awkward patients to which he does not get too close, until he meets Sabina Spielrein, played by Oscar-nominee Keira Knightley (Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, Pride & Prejudice). She is suffering from overwhelming anxiety, but there is hope in her high intelligence as Carl brings her on as an apprentice to help with other patients. As the two of them become co-workers a strange thing happens: Sabina responds to Carl beating her coat with a walking stick. Her childhood beatings and humiliations have defined her, and without that degradation from her father she cannot feel any comfort especially around men. Carl wants to get a second opinion from his colleague Sigmund Freud, aloofly played by Oscar-nominee Viggo Mortensen (The Lord of the Rings, Eastern Promises). He coolly suggests that Sabina’s problem is sexual and he encourages Carl to bring that out of her. Carl is a married man, and a man of virtue at that. However it seems everybody wants him to do it; even his wife knows about an affair blossoming but is supportive. What happens after the passion is the longing that could bring down his personal and professional life.

Director David Cronenberg (A History of Violence, Eastern Promises) marks his third time working with Mortensen on a subject that seems tailor-fit for the pair, but all through the movie you get the feeling something is missing. The male characters are willfully weaker than women, and psychology majors will tell you the information presented in the discussions only skims the surface of psychoanalysis. Fassbender is a little restrained in this part but he serves his purpose. Mortensen takes a part originally made for Christoph Waltz (who might have worked better) as very emotionally distant but empathetic. It’s Knightley who shines in this movie, practically chewing the scenery in every moment on screen. She has a arch going from scared and crazy to cool and confident, and is able to put up with Cronenberg’s more perverse scenes. The attention to early 20th century production design is minute and sometimes wonderful to see.

While “A Dangerous Method” isn’t bad at all, it leaves something to be desired. The relationship with Fassbender and Knightley is the main focus but it feels less like a relationship and more a one-night-stand.

Carano stars as Mallory, a former Marine turned private contractor for rescues and extractions. She is hired to help rescue a Chinese journalist and place him in the care of a man named Rodrigo, played by Antonio Banderas (The Skin I Live In, Puss in Boots). The job, set in Barcelona, has some hiccups but in the end works out as planned. It’s during this time she gets close to her teammate Aaron, a jock-type Channing Tatum (G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, 21 Jump Street) but after one night of romance they go their separate ways. Only later when Mallory thinks she is off the hook she is approached by her employer Kenneth, played by Ewan McGregor (The Men Who Stare at Goats, Beginners). He has another job for her already, and he desperately needs only her for it. Her new mission is to meet up with MI5 agent Paul, played by (A Dangerous Method, Shame) and pose as his wife at a luxurious party, nothing more. She agrees, and all the time she is monitoring his cell phone with a tracking device. Smart move, because he inadvertently leads her to a shack where she finds the Chinese journalist with a bullet in his head. Now Mallory knows this is a setup, and by the end of the night someone will probably be dead.

Director Steven Soderbergh (Ocean’s Eleven, Contagion) likes to make his films deliberately paced and not filled with over-the-top grandeur, which is how he treats this action movie. Most of the camera moves are stationary save for some momentary pans or tilts. The music keeps things going but doesn’t dominate the picture. For a while the film seems like a series of chase sequences with stops only to explain more of the conspiracy against our girl. So in short, this movie feels like “The Bourne Identity” with a female lead and less intrigue. However, Carano can really hold her own and kick ass while still being feminine and elegant (check out her ballroom dress!). With such a male-dominated movie, and male-dominated movie genre, she is perfectly cast for the role and even outshines the likes of actors Bill Paxton, Michael Douglas, and Mathieu Kassovitz.

“Haywire” is kind of a standard action thriller with some good moments but Gina Carano is the real reason to watch this. There needs to be more strong female leads in the movies, and I for one was rooting her on the whole time. I’d also like to see her in more upcoming films.

We open on Brandon, played by versatile actor Michael Fassbender (Inglourious Basterds, X-Men: First Class), a New York City yuppie with a great job and seemingly normal bachelor life. However, nobody knows that he is secretly a sex addict, a compulsive masturbator and ladies man. You might think he’s just a horny guy looking for girls, but his addiction is much darker and frightening than that. He calls escorts almost every night, looks at pornography on his work computer, and even has a tense scene on a subway train flirtatiously starring at a clearly married woman who likes him too. There are a lot of women in New York and Brandon is trying to use them all. At one point he even tries to date office co-worker Marianne, played by Nicole Beharie (American Violet, The Express). At dinner he informs her on his idea of marriage:

Brandon: You come to restaurants, you see couples sitting together and they don’t even speak to one another. They don’t have anything to say, they don’t have anything.

Marianne: They probably don’t have to speak because they’re connected.

Brandon: Or they’re just bored with one another.

Meanwhile, during his late nights Brandon keeps getting voicemails from an unknown girl, and a very emotional one. Then one night he comes into his apartment and hears music, sees a woman’s clothes all around, hears a record player still on. Arming himself with a baseball bat, he opens the bathroom door and finds his sister Sissy, played by the lovely Carey Mulligan (Never Let Me Go, Drive), stark naked and more shocked than he is. She needs a place to crash for a while, and therefore Brandon suddenly has a problem. His private life is jeopardized when he can no longer practice his…habits. In his growing frustration and increasingly violent outbursts, he spirals into a path of terrible actions with dire consequences.

Writer/Director Steve McQueen (not that one, the British filmmaker) follows up his critically acclaimed “Hunger” with a look at the darkest side of human nature since 1969′s “Midnight Cowboy”. The characters of Brandon and Sissy are a perfect brother-sister combo in that they are self destructive and desperate for a loving embrace, though as siblings do they fight all the time. Fassbender and Mulligan work well off each other and it would be great to pair them up for another film. The landscape of New York City, while in other movies is beautiful, here becomes a threatening animal; a vile coil of steel beams and harsh neon lights. It’s as if the city is crushing on top of Brandon’s chastity. The depths of which he goes to have satisfaction is nauseating, and yet he is sad enough where we actually care about him.

“Shame” is a remarkable movie, one of the best movies to ever receive the NC-17 rating. Fassbender plays his most vulnerable character to date, and it’s a very moving experience.

We open on a fictional silent film star George Valentin, played with gusto by Jean Dujardin (Brice de Nice; OSS 117: Cairo, Nest of Spies). George is the hottest thing around, bringing sell-out crowds to all his films. On the night premiere of his latest film “A Russian Affair”, we discover that he is a bit of a showoff and hogs all the spotlight away from his peers, but on the whole he’s a likeable guy. He even has a pet dog he brings everywhere named Jack, played by canine superstar Uggie (Mr. Fix It, Water for Elephants). The pair are inseparable, except when George is on the red carpet hamming it up for photographers. Yet in the crowd of ladies begging for his autograph one girl happens to drop her purse in front of him. She sneaks past security to get it and raising back up meets his astonished gaze. Her name is Peppy Miller, an equally peppy Bérénice Bejo (A Knight’s Tale; OSS 117: Cairo, Nest of Spies). She is nervous that a bigshot would be staring at her, but George laughs it off and invites her to pose for pictures with him. This makes everyone else nervous with their pictures in the newspaper, such as his wife and studio producers. She even ends up being an extra in a movie with him, but they can’t do their takes right from pheromones in the air. A few years later Peppy is getting bigger roles and the audience loves her, but with the introduction of sound in movies and the stock market crash, George is suddenly old and expired while Peppy is the new big star of Hollywoodland. Though George is selling off all his possessions for booze money, the lives of these two stars will become linked once again.

Writer/director Michel Hazanavicius is not a name you may be familiar with but that might change with this film. He presents a silent movie era film as being, well, silent. Most of the movie has no spoken dialogue, just cue card subtitles on screen. It’s even presented in Black & White and the full screen ratio of 1.33:1, just like it would have been in the 1920′s-30′s. All the same, the movie doesn’t need spoken lines to get the point across, as much of the emotion and heartache comes from mime acting, but then again so does the comic relief. The life of George seems to mimic that of real life Douglas Fairbanks who couldn’t get a sustainable career once movies talked. There are many American stars in this such as John Goodman, James Cromwell, Missi Pyle, and Malcolm McDowell making welcome appearances. However, the real supporting star is dog Uggie who is even smarter than his owner and despite all the hardships never gives up on him.

“The Artist” has the feel of “A Star is Born” with elements of “Singing in the Rain”. It’s more than just a gimmick movie, it’s a powerfully told story on the fall and resurrection of stardom. I can’t wait to see it a second time.

The titular character is named Joey, an English thoroughbred born in the 1910′s who captures the amazement of young Albert, a starry-eyed Jeremy Irvine (Great Expectations). His father Ted is equally impressed with the foal, and is able to bid for Joey at a town auction and wins by spending everything he has. This is not well-accepted with Mum, a tough-as-nails Emily Watson (Corpse Bride, The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep). She knows that the horse they get has to be used for plowing to sell turnips to pay their landlord Lyons, played by David Thewlis (Black Beauty, Harry Potter III-VIII). He wants to throw Albert and his parents off the land, which all depends on whether Joey can plow the fields covered in rocks and seemingly barren. This is a lot to place on a young horse who is still being broken in, but with Albert’s parents, Lyons, and half the town watching the sight the boy and horse push through the cruel rain to finally strike rich soil! Yet even after the plants are destroyed by further rain, war breaks out between England and Germany. Since the family has no money for the landlord now, they have to sell Joey to the Army. Albert wants to go himself but he is just too young. Therefore, he is sold to Captain Nicholls, a sympathetic Tom Hiddleston (Midnight in Paris, The Avengers). He promises the boy he will try to bring Joey back as soon as possible. However, during the course of the movie and four long years or World War I he will pass to various owners such as two German deserters, a sick French girl and her grandfather, a German artillery troop, and finally ends up twisted in deadly barb-wire in No Man’s Land (is there a metaphor here?). It’s a brutal and harrowing journey that will claim many of his friends but ultimately lead back to where it all started.

Spielberg here creates a cross between his own “Saving Private Ryan” and “Black Beauty”, an odyssey of an animal having to change owners quickly in order to survive. The imagery is beautiful, some of the most majestic images we have ever seen in a Spielberg movie. The characters are hard-nosed, driven individuals who push through all barriers, especially Joey. Even John Williams’ score is at the top of his game. However, the only downsides are the clichés and sappy sentimentality that plague this movie, also the 2 1/2 hour running time that lurches forward at a slow pace. While I tried to overlook these flaws, they are unavoidable no matter how epic the movie is.

“War Horse” is a good movie, but it had so much potential to be GREAT. It’s shortcomings are going to deflect some viewers, but as for myself who grew up with horses it’s at least a nice change to see the horse be the real star of the film.

We open on Matt, played with vulnerability by George Clooney (Three Kings, Fantastic Mr. Fox). He is a Hawaii attorney living in what mainlanders would call paradise. His response: “F*** Paradise.” He has been busy with work and trying to sell off a portion of island property he inherited for millions of dollars, and therefore has missed seeing his wife Elizabeth and two daughters grow apart from him. However, when she has a boating accident that puts her in a coma, he is forced to step away from his desk and become a parent. The problem is: he really can’t cope with suddenly being a father to his headstrong teenage girls. First there is 10 year old Scottie, played by Amara Miller in her debut role. Also in tow is Alex, played by Shailene Woodley (Felicity: An American Girl Adventure, TV’s The Secret Life of the American Teenager). Alex is only 17 but already dating older men and getting wasted at every opportunity, of course being a bad influence on Scottie. Their excuse for being foul-mouthed brats: Mom. It’s true that Elizabeth hasn’t been a model parent either, and Matt decides that during this difficult time they all need to try to be a family again…but as Alex reveals to Matt there are some terrible secrets that need to be told. I won’t reveal the big twist in the story, but it forces Matt to take his girls out to a vacation to Kauai to confront an interloper and show his girls for the last time the gorgeous beach property which he wants to sell. By the end of the film, all these issues will be resolved one way or another.

Going into the movie after seeing the previews, I imagined that this would be another of Payne’s slice-of-life movies, and it really is. However, the reason he has made such a good little movie is the subtle touches to add unexpected humor to an otherwise dark drama. For instance, the inclusion of Alex’s boyfriend Sid, a scenery-chewing Nick Krause (How to Eat Fried Worms, National Lampoon’s: Stoned Age), offers unexpected comic relief, especially his scene with cinema legend Robert Forster (Medium Cool, Jackie Brown,) playing Scott, Matt’s father. When Sid makes fun of Scott the only response is, “I’m gonna hit you.” and you can imagine the results. Also, when Matt finds out the big news he has to confirm it from his sister-in-law, meaning he has to run down the street in flip-flops, defusing most of the tension from the previous scene and even evoking some giggles. Also look for Judy Greer (Three Kings, TV’s Archer) in a pivotal role, giving a really great performance.

“The Descendants” works because it gives a predictable story a reality vibe making it a good, bittersweet feeling. And bring the kids.

“Good evening, dear reader. Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to follow star Tom Cruise (Top Gun, Rock of Ages) as Agent Ethan Hunt. He was broken out of a Moscow prison by Agent Jane Carter, a lovely Paula Patton (Déjà Vu, Precious), and Agent Benji Dunn, the hilarious Simon Pegg (TV’s Band of Brothers, Star Trek). The trio the infiltrated the Kremlin to identify a nuclear extremist going by the code name “Cobalt”, as played by Michael Nyqvist (The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, Abduction). When the IMF realized that someone had already stolen the protected documents, the Kremlin was then bombed by Cobalt himself with the agents barely escaping. The blame fell on the United States, and then fell on Hunt and his team. With only the three remaining of the entire IMF force, Hunt turned to the IMF Secretary, played by Tom Wilkinson (The Full Monty, Batman Begins) and his gun-toting analyst William Brandt, a very cool Jeremy Renner (The Hurt Locker, The Avengers). The chase for Cobalt and nuclear weapon activation codes took them from Russia to the United Arab Emirates and climaxing in India…”

Production for this film brought the budget up to $145 million, which shown on special IMAX cameras brings the world’s tallest building dizzyingly to life. Director Brad Bird (The Iron Giant, The Incredibles) has really made an action masterpiece, keeping the tense moments funny and the big ones unforgettable. For instance, that’s really Tom Cruise himself on the side of the Burj Khalifa Tower, with the only CGI being to hide the cables! Renner is given a more dramatic role and he does good with it, but honestly the storyline is nearly non-existent to all the big noise and explosions. Still, there is a lot of jaw-dropping fun to be had here, which is why we come to big blockbuster movies. The 4th Mission is certainly a welcome addition to the series.

“…this review will self-destruct in five seconds.”

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

In 2004 Swedish author Stieg Larsson passed away to have a three-part novel series published posthumously a year later. The title was Män som hatar kvinnor: “Men Who Hate Women”, and despite some really nasty stories this has turned into a world-wide phenomenon to rival the “Twilight” books. of course the title was wisely changed to “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” which has been adapted to a cinema trilogy which has broken box office records (for foreign films) grossing around $100 million. That much has been put into the budget for America’s remake of the movie (not to mention adapting the sequels too) released through Columbia Pictures and MGM Studios. Yet for all the star power and love for the original books, this version just can’t capture the spirit of the original.

We begin with Mr. Vanger, played by Christopher Plummer (The Return of the Pink Panther, Beginners) as he receives a strange mailed package: a flower pressed inside a picture frame. At the same time, a provocative left-wing magazine reporter Mikael Blomkvist, a handsome Daniel Craig (Casino Royale, Cowboys & Aliens) has been ostracized for falsely accusing a businessman of fraud and he needs something to do to lay low. Meanwhile, a computer hacker-researcher by the name of Lisbeth Salander, a thin and pale Rooney Mara (A Nightmare on Elm Street, The Social Network), is investigating Mikael for a security company but she finds him to be safe enough. She has her own problems though, being 23 years old and a genuine goth with tattoos and piercings and all black attire, but due to her past she needs a guardian of the state. Her new one denies her any money from earnings…unless she gives him sexual favors. While these stories all seem completely disjointed from each other, they all connect when Vanger hires Blomkvist and Salander to investigate a 40 year old mystery: which of his family members murdered his great-niece Harriet?

Director David Fincher (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, The Social Network) takes the same approach to this as he did with “Se7en”: stylish and grimy. With that said it is nearly impossible to talk about this film without mentioning the original, and when watching this I already knew what would happen though Fincher does a good job of keeping the whole movie fresh and watchable, mostly with interesting camera moves. However, take away the style and this does not work as well as Niels Arden Oplev’s vision. Keep in mind that this movie features rape of a woman in a graphic and very disturbing way, which holds true to the original film and book. What doesn’t work is the character interaction of how Lisbeth is falling in love with Mikael, but he is more interested in his blonde editor. At least Noomi Rapace’s performance showed a strong woman, but for Rooney Mara having to be more vulnerable she at least pulls it off convincingly. They even add material that is completely unnecessary, for instance Mikael’s pet cat and what is done to it. I won’t spoil it, because it’s very shocking, but did they really have to show that?

Unfortunately “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” remade for America wallows too much in filth and sin, forgetting there is a real story somewhere. Columbia has promised us a remake of the sequels too if this one makes enough money. Even though I love and respect Fincher’s work, this may be an ill advised idea.

The titular young man with a cowlick in his red hair is voiced by Jamie Bell (Billy Elliot, King Kong). He is out on a nice day shopping with his white dog Snowy when he spots a rare and beautiful sea ship model for sale. As soon as he buys it he is harassed by an American FBI agent and then a mysterious man named Sakharine, played by Daniel Craig (Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, Casino Royale). The former is willing to pay any price but Tintin refuses. Later the model ship is missing and his apartment in shambles, but not before his cute Snowy has revealed an odd little cylinder containing a tiny scroll decades old. It leads Tintin to an old seemingly abandoned mansion where he hopes to find answers, instead finding the evil Sakharine. While Tintin is allowed to leave unharmed, he does learn that there is more than one model ship, three ships to be precise, all with the bust of a Unicorn and all containing a separate scroll. Before he can gather his thoughts, the inquisitive boy is kidnapped and thrown aboard a sea freighter. On his way to escape he discovers more clues, particularly a living breathing one: Captain Haddock, portrayed by the chameleon-like Andy Serkis (King Kong, Rise of the Planet of the Apes). Haddock is a drunk seaman, half-witted, and always gets in more trouble than he can handle. However, he is also a vital key in solving the big mystery. Tintin and Haddock will have to battle thugs, the Sahara desert, and possibly the worst Opera singer on Earth.

Paramount Pictures, Columbia Pictures, Amblin Entertainment, and Nickelodeon Movies have made this one heck of a movie from start to blazing finish. PG-rated CGI action/adventure doesn’t get bigger than this. Co-produced by Peter Jackson (Lord of the Rings, King Kong), Tintin has a CGI animated world similar to “The Polar Express”, but despite the characters being life-like cartoons, they are all very life-like. You can easily be mistaken that you’re watching a live-action film, except for some oddly shaped noses. Look carefully for a cameo by Spielberg himself. Kids should root for the lead with enthusiasm, adults will be giddy with all the fast action and hilarious jokes:

“My memory is not what it used to be.”

“What did it use to be?”

“I’ve forgotten… ”

There is also an amusing dual police inspector team of Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, bumbling around but also helping Tintin in their own way. Now there was some brief problems I had with this, for instance a man is shot down and uses his own blood to spell a message before dying. Also, Haddock alcoholism is a message on substance abuse, not exactly kid’s stuff. My only thought on this is maybe it should have garnered the PG-13 rating instead.

“The Adventures of Tintin” is a rip-snorting action movie with energy to spare and family fun. At the sneak peek the audience gave it a standing ovation, I think you will too.

We begin on a series of bombings in England which may or may not be related to shaky politics between France and Germany. Then we shift to Irene Adler, a returning Rachel McAdams (Morning Glory, Midnight in Paris), who is delivering a package to a previously unseen character: Professor Moriarty played by Jared Harris (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, TV’s Mad Men). He knows of her “relationship” with Holmes and decides to extinguish her services…permanently. Meanwhile, Watson is finally getting married, so Holmes decides to take him out to a stag party with his sarcastic brother Mycroft, played by Stephen Fry (V for Vendetta, Alice in Wonderland). He calls Sherlock “Sherley” and constantly mutters to himself, but when the boys are busy at a nightclub our hero follows a suspicious character up into the private parlors. There he meets a gypsy woman named Sim, a beautiful Noomi Rapace (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Prometheus). She has an assassin after her, but Holmes saves her life. Little does he know that this woman is very crucial to catching the criminal Moriarty, and all these seemingly unconnected events will come crashing down into one wild and dizzying conclusion.

Director Guy Ritchie (Snatch, RocknRolla) clearly loves action, and brings back Downey, Jr’s premeditative martial arts fighting back in super slo-mo. However, this is brought back into better use during his and Harris’s climatic chess match in Switzerland; it sounds odd but it all makes sense in the end. The conspiracies point to an inevitable early 20th century event which Moriarty is both enacting himself and planning for. So, clearly there is some drudgery and long speeches which do little except bore the audience, but there are still some qualities which make this better than the last one. For instance, there are way less explosions and thankfully too. Also our heroes get out of dreary London and into vogue Europe, a smart move. I’m sorry to say that Rapace has little to do except guide the boys through the woods and be involved in an assassination plot (someone else’s), oh and she can throw knives. Still, watching Watson duel a sniper and Moriarty torturing Holmes  while singing opera is a step in the right direction.

“… A Game of Shadows” still isn’t as good as it should have been, but it’s a notch better than the first Sherlock, and it ends in a very peculiar but funny manner.

“Midnight…” stars Owen Wilson (Wedding Crashers, Cars) as Gil, an American writer visiting the City of Light with his fiancée Inez, played by Rachel McAdams (Wedding Crashers, Sherlock Holmes). She is busy doing touristy stuff with some friends and her simpleton parents, but Gil has come to Paris for a different purpose: to find inspiration again in writing. After making Hollywood screenplays he’s a little burnt out, so after a night of drinking he opts out of a dance club and instead walks back to his hotel. On the way there, at the precise strike of 12:00, a taxi pulls up to him where a crowd of Parisians invite him along. Gil decides to go with them, laughing and drinking even more on the way to a party not understanding a word of French. When he arrives he can see several people dressed in vintage 1920′s clothing and listening to a piano played by Cole Porter. Then he is introduced to a woman named Zelda, her husband Scott Fitzgerald, their literary companion Ernest Hemingway, and whoa! What the heck is happening to Gil? He was drinking a lot of good French wine, but is it possible that he has jumped back 110 years into the past? Yes, he certainly has, and after that one night he goes back to 2011 in the morning. Gil tries to tell Inez and the others but they all think he’s got a brain tumor. He doesn’t care because every night he sneaks away from his dreadful fiancée to meet other amazing people such as Gertrude Stein, Pablo Picasso, Salvador Dalí, Luis Buñuel, T. S. Eliot, and many others. This is all wonderful as they, being artists too, help Gil with his work; but when he meets a muse named Adriana, a charming Marion Cotillard (La Vie en Rose, The Dark Knight Rises). She is the most amazing woman he has ever seen, falls for her instantly, and as it turns out Gil has to choose between living in the 21st century with Inez, or in the 20th century with Adriana.

Writer/Director Allen has given us something of real magic for adults that inspires and dazzles in itself. Even the skeptical audiences who have never seen the city will be entertained and may even laugh out loud for how much outrageous fun they’re having. Adrien Brody (The Pianist, The Darjeeling Limited) has a hilarious scene as Salvador Dalí, and the chemistry between Wilson and Cotillard is genuine. My only gripe is that the ending is quite predictable, especially if you’re familiar with Allen’s 40 other films, but the overall experience is still quite a rush. “Midnight in Paris” is purely for the artist crowd, but it’s a fun wild ride all the same.

We begin in 1956 just as a young English studio assistant Colin Clark, played by the fresh actor Eddie Redmayne (Elizabeth: The Golden Age, The Other Boleyn Girl), is looking at the dynamite Marilyn on screen in wonder. Against his parents’ wishes, he joins a film studio headed by cinema legend Sir Laurence Olivier, an appropriate Kenneth Branagh (Henry V, Hamlet). Colin gets to work as a 3rd Assistant Director on Laurence’s latest film: “The Prince and the Showgirl”. For those who are unfamiliar with the position, Colin is pretty much a gopher who takes care of little details in keeping the movie run smoothly. Now the lead actress for this movie is a big international star about to make her first trip to England and lo behold! it’s Marilyn Monroe herself! His job is to keep her safe and happy for the shoot, but that’s hard to do when her husband Arthur Miller, her acting coach, her agent, her bodyguard, and Director Laurence all want to use and train her in classical British acting, of which she cannot adjust to. When the photographers are gone and the entourage has gone to bed, plus her husband going back overseas, this is when Colin really gets to know her as she is. He makes no assumptions, no sexual passes, she is just a real person to him. She picks up on this quick as he is a breath of fresh air, and she relies on his judgment and support more than anybody else’s. Of course, when Colin happens to be dating Emma Watson (Harry Potter, The Tale of Despereaux) there begins the jealousy. Even Laurence’s wife Vivien Leigh is jealous and all the women hate their men for paying so much attention to the American blonde. Marilyn and Colin just want to be young people away from the phony world, so they escape together to the English countryside for one day of being friends. However, it’s during this day that they begin to find something more that could either mean a blossoming romance or total disaster.

Colin Clark’s real life memoirs come to life through meticulous recreation of 1950′s life in a wonderful production. The decades old 35mm Technicolor cameras, the Rolls Royce cars, and don’t forget the elegant wardrobe that Marilyn fans will swoon over; it all comes together in such beautiful fashion. The casting is dead-on, but if Branagh isn’t close enough then gorgeous Michelle Williams (Brokeback Mountain, Blue Valentine) in the titular role is inspired genius. She does not just play Marilyn, Williams IS Marilyn. Based on her performances and interviews, Williams catches her nuances and personality perfectly. While it’s a treat to watch, sadly Director Simon Curtis only shows average skill and while this is a first-person account of the bombshell, fans may feel cheated at not really learning anything new about her.

“My Week with Marilyn” is almost a great movie, but manages to show an interesting personal side of the actress’s life.

Instead of focusing on Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear, or Gonzo the Great, we instead begin with a Muppet who is not exactly part of the group: Walter. Since the early 1980′s he has lived with his big brother Gary, a goofball Jason Segel (Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Despicable Me). Walter is dying to see Hollywood and meet the gang and has been all his life. Gary on the other hand is gearing up for his anniversary with Mary played as over-emotional Amy Adams (The Fighter, Man of Steel). She wants the most romantic night of her life with Gary, but feels uncomfortable with Walter tagging along. Gary just wants to see everybody happy, so he takes them to Hollywood for a Muppets tour and an unforgettable night of love. However, once the trio arrives at the Muppet studios, it’s the most devastating disappointment. The studio is not only out of operation, but in shambles. What’s worse is the land is being sold to an oil tycoon by the name of Tex Richman, a dastardly villain from Oscar-winning actor Chris Cooper (Adaptation, Seabiscuit). Walter just take the truth, so he decides to look through the studio for any of the guys and runs into Kermit himself! Kermit explains that they are just too separated and too passé for modern audiences and would be glad to put the past behind him, but our heroes convince him that they could still keep the old show going. So their mission is to find the whole gang, put on a telethon to raise $10,000,000, and save the Muppets. Don’t forget that Jack Black is tied up and forced to host!

Believe it or not, it was Jason Segel himself who developed this, the 8th Muppets film. Not long after his memorable puppet musical in “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” Disney gave the Kermit the greenlight (ha ha). We are treated to some really great musical numbers like Life’s a Happy Song and The Rainbow Connection. Yet after a $45 million budget, little has changed about these guys. Gonzo still shoots himself out of a cannon, Fozzie’s jokes are still hammy, and speaking of which Miss Piggy is still a neurotic diva. Contrary to the film’s premise, the Muppets are still very entertaining, heartwarming, and funny as heck. There are virtually no unwatchable moments and the songs are wonderful. I try to avoid this phrase, but it really is a perfect film for the whole family.